I’m posting this, not for [black] reasons, but for the words in between those commas: “like all races.” I think if you replace [races] with a more general term or phrase, like social groups, you’ll see the real insight behind this statement. The exceptional men (and women) of any and every subcategory of people are the ones who save the day and make the world bearable, at least for me anyways. I won’t stop working hard until I’ve become one of the exceptional ones (and by then, working hard will be in my blood, so I still won’t stop). - JRP :v
Sometimes you don’t have to go looking for secret recipes or tips on how to be better or get an advantage over others. Every now and then, the answer we need to hear is simple and clean:
Do better. Try more. Push yourself harder.
A coping method that might not be as unhealthy as people think: REPRESSION!
repression |riˈpre sh ən|
1. The act of repressing or the state of being repressed.
2. (Psychology) The unconscious exclusion of painful impulses, desires, or fears from the conscious mind.
3. (Psychoanalysis) the subconscious rejection of thoughts and impulses that conflict with conventional standards of conduct
In my Theories of Personality class, I learned about Freud’s defense mechanisms, which are basically subconscious reactions to situations and truths that our brains either can’t process or accept. For the most part, these are rooted by unconscious factors that we can’t completely control, but what if we used them on purpose? I mean, the brain uses them in [an attempt] to help us deal with life. Why not take control and use some of them when we consciously feel we need them?
I was talking to a friend today about some stuff that’s been filling up my headspace and, at this point, I really can’t think about it anymore. Have you ever spent so much time pondering over something, looking at it from every angle and perspective, really examining every inch of a situation, until you got to that point where you were overwhelmed and couldn’t really process it any more, even if you wanted to? I think that’s where I’ve arrived. I really just want to lock up any and all thoughts regarding the subject, which got me thinking about one of Freud’s more popular defense mechanisms: repression. I asked myself a question:
How unhealthy would it be if we could purposely “activate” these unconscious defense mechanisms?
People say you shouldn’t run away from your problems. Well, what if it’s just for a quick jog…? Is it okay to push thoughts aside indefinitely until you feel like you’re both willing and ready to face them again? or should you keep trying to decipher through all the confusing, scary, or disappointing truths of life until you can see the answer you’re searching for clearly?
My favorite law in Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power is Law 36, which pretty much says to ignore the things you can’t have. If you can’t find peace with a situation, why not just give yourself a break and ignore it, even if it’s just momentarily to catch your breath? I don’t know about you, but I’m calling a timeout. I’ll hop back into that game a little later.
[Something inside told me that someone needed to hear that. I hope whoever it is sees it.]
I wanted to make this another vocabulary lesson, but I couldn’t settle on a word. There are so many key words that relate to what’s on my mind, so I figure I’ll just let them all flow into sentences and share what’s on my mind.
It’s amazing how much you can empathize with others. I mean really feel emotion and hurt alongside the people you care about. [Flashback]: Growing up, I still remember learning about sympathy and empathy. Being the geek that I am, I thought it was cool how they were so similar, but meant completely different things. I’d get confused from time to time and mix up their meanings, but I really get it at this point. Whereas sympathy relates to feeling pity or sorrow for someone, empathy is when you can relate to another person’s emotion or experience.
Well, I’m overwhelmed right now. So many thoughts, questions, and feelings are rushing through my mind.
Is love a [fantasy]? What makes people loyal? What makes us unfaithful? What’s so hard about love? When is it really pure? When is it real? Is it even worth it?
The crazy thing is, all of this mental activity comes from someone else’s situation. I’ve learned that, personally, I only completely empathize with my family or best friends, so I suppose this is a clear, indisputable sign of how I view our friendship. I’m sitting here typing this post because of what a close friend of mine is going through; something that has [nothing] to do with me. Why? Maybe the reality (or lack thereof) of what we call love just has me unsettled right now.
Could my friend’s current situation, which up to two days ago I tweeted was the [perfect] relationship, have been the final straw it took to make me a disbeliever in this idea of two people my age being happy with one another completely and purely?
As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I find myself worried about him, pissed at his girlfriend, disappointed, shocked, and somehow even betrayed. I guess this perfect relationship was my one piece of perfect evidence, my only hope, that real relationships still exist in my generation (at least, as far as I know of personally). Dang… What is wrong with us? Seriously. Guys cheat on girls, girls cheat on guys, and even et cetera…. I wonder where the future of [the relationship] will lead. Will it go anywhere at all?
One thing I will say is that I think that God completely answers prayers. We talked the other day about him getting ready for life after school and really trying to get a clear view of what’s next for him. I guess this is God’s very abrupt answer. If I hadn’t remembered our conversation and connected the God-ordained dots in this situation, I probably wouldn’t know what to think. I feel strongly that, in addition to the major feelings that are ahead for him, there’s going to be vast opportunity and discovery in store. I sure hope so.
I have church in the morning, so I should wrap this up. [good] night.
Something that comes out in the fieriest and tensest of moments: REVELATION!
revelation |ˌrevəˈlā sh ən|
1 a surprising and previously unknown fact, esp. one that is made known in a dramatic way : revelations about his personal life.
• the making known of something that was previously secret or unknown : the revelation of an alleged plot to assassinate the king.
• used to emphasize the surprising or remarkable quality of someone or something : seeing them play at the international level was a revelation.
For today’s lesson, let’s focus in on the overall definition and the first sub-definition above. It’s funny thinking back to my last vocabulary lesson, [mirror], because that too was written about a hostile situation, but apparently, these are the moments when truth and revelation come out. I won’t go into much detail about what got us to the boiling point or the specific revelation that I had, but last night, I got into another heated argument with a different friend of mine, and in the midst of the word-war, he shared some interesting information that there has apparently been some type of group consensus on for a while now…
It’s crazy how some of the people that should be closest to you don’t keep it real with you until they’re pushed to fits of anger; it’s almost as if the truth has become a punishment. I don’t get that. The whole situation makes me think back to my Theories of Personality class. Dr. Carter taught us that when people are able to pull out an extreme reaction from you, you shouldn’t waste time in your emotions, but instead look deep inside of yourself to find out what the cause of that reaction is. What is in you, whether’s it’s an insecurity or an intense level of passion, that caused you to act outside of your typical behavior or personality?
I’m forcing myself to not only search for that answer, but also to take my own advice. I told a friend of mine recently to never treat others wrongly because of what one friend has done or said to you in the past. It’s so funny when you’re feeding others advice and then the spoon is turned around and pointed in your face. I’m really trying to think if I need to just forgive and forget. It’s the second time I’ve gotten into a ridiculous situation with this guy over nothing; and although we’re “friends,” the situation leads me to evaluate and maybe even reconsider the [type] of friends (some, not all) that I have around me.
Is it wrong to question or feel some kind of way about an entire group of people based on what one person said [on behalf] of everyone? What if the liquor and anger led him to make it all up? What if it just led him to finally be honest? Situations like this make it hard to just brush things to the side and keep it moving like nothing happened. I’m a thinker and it’s not easy for me to just let things go. You see, in this case, it’s not so much an issue of pride; it’s an [issue] of trust.
Something you should take a strong look at every once in a while: MIRROR!
1 a reflective surface, now typically of glass coated with a metal amalgam, that reflects a clear image.
• figurative something regarded as accurately representing something else : the stage is supposed to be the mirror of life.
So… about thirty minutes ago, I got into it with a friend of mine. I found myself venting about some of his behaviors that I don’t particularly care for. However, in the midst of “checking him,” I got a nice look at myself. He [calmly] pointed out a few similarities that we have in common that weren’t exactly in plain view to me until now. It’s funny how we can have such strong [negative] feelings about people from time to time, but somehow fail to see our our own reflections glaring back at us.
The funny thing is, in the midst of finally telling him what had been on my mind for the past three days, I didn’t even make any valid points. For once, I was really at a loss for words (even though enough noise came out anyway). I guess I finally had a catharsis of sorts. In psychology, I think this would be a good example of projection, which is the act of placing certain traits or impulses onto other people instead of ourselves. Some of the [
asshole] characteristics I saw in him were really a lot of the same bad habits I have myself.
All in all, today’s been a “less than positive” day for me (not that that’s an excuse). I started off the day in a great mood and slowly but surely went further and further downhill. On the opposite side, this unexpected revelation is actually a plus for me. It showed me a few ways that I can be a better person in the future. In my Business Policy class, my professor taught us that a problem properly stated is already half-solved. I think I get the problem now. Looks like I’m halfway there.
In dealing with others (and life in general), it’s important not to have a one-sided perspective. I talk to others about the importance of looking at things from multiple perspectives all the time, but it’s funny how I’m the one that needs to hear that advice now. You have to be weary of a critical spirit. It’s easy to be judgmental; not so easy to be understanding.
What every one of us needs on our side: DEFENSE!
defense |diˈfens; ˈdēˌfens|
1 the action of defending from or resisting attack : they relied on missiles for the country’s defense | she came tothe defense of the eccentric professor.
• attempted justification or vindication of something : he spoke in defense of a disciplined approach.
• a means of protecting something from attack : education is the best defense against tyranny.
2 the case presented by or on behalf of the party being accused or sued in a lawsuit.
This morning in church, Dr. Everett talked about God’s grace and how that grace does not serve as an excuse or pardon to sin and do whatever we please. I think a lot of people mistakenly think that just because they’re “saved” that they’re entitled to do whatever they want whenever they want. It’s not that easy. People who believe that should read the book of Romans. However, sticking to the vocab word of the day, [defense], I love the way she described Jesus:
He’s the ultimate defense lawyer. He stands before God and advocates for us.
It was such a great metaphor. When we’re done in this life, we will be in [a court] of sorts, standing trial for the lives that we’ve lived. That’s not to say that everything in each of our lives is criminal in nature, but we’ve all sinned and made mistakes at some point(s) or another. If you think about it, Jesus is like our defense lawyer, God is the judge, Satan is the prosecutor, and the jury is the Word. Satan has a beastly conviction rate, but I trust my defense lawyer completely.
Regardless of how strong the evidence is or how long the list of charges may be, He’s already paid the price for us to get off and turn things around. Getting saved isn’t like immunity or double jeopardy; instead, you should think of it like parole. We’re free to live our lives, but we have to live it the right way. People get things confused a lot on this crazy little planet we inhabit. If you keep making the wrong choices, you may have a life sentence that won’t come to end. Think about it.
Who’s representing you and your case?
The key idea behind my favorite law of power: DISDAIN!
the feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one’s consideration or respect; contempt : her upperlip curled in disdain | an aristocratic disdain for manual labor.
consider to be unworthy of one’s consideration : gamblers disdain four-horse races.
Hands down, The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is one of my favorite books. I think some of the laws are less than ethical, but all in all, I think they offer a very interesting and valid look at people throughout history and the ways in which we interact & influence one another. [Law 36] has always been my favorite law and it goes like this:
Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge.
By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.
I recently gave up a few bad habits and a couple of time-wasters that have been messing with my [peace of mind], as well as my productivity, and I’ve been doing pretty well for the most part. However, from time to time, temptation enters the picture and it’s a struggle. Sometimes trying to be a better person, the right person, is such a difficult task.
Bible study this week taught me, though, that the devil only has as much power as you (and/or God) give him. You can do the right things if you allow yourself to. It’s easy to give in and give up, but it’s a challenge to stay on the right track and make those tough plays in life. On the bright side, when you actually pull through and do what you hold out to do, the rewards are so much greater. God rewards submission with blessings, plentiful blessings. I’ve seen it time and time again, and I’m living it right now.
Life’s a game. The ball’s in your court. Get off the bench and play like an MVP. Sometimes fighting temptation is as simple as an unfollow, clicking the [x] in the top left corner (or right if you don’t use Safari), or staying in for the night. Whether it means not picking up a phone call or even closing your eyes if the situation calls for it, do what you have to do to accomplish what you set out to do. It’s not always that complicated; it just requires a little effort.
[ha, it’s like this sometimes, huh?]