I wanted to make this another vocabulary lesson, but I couldn’t settle on a word. There are so many key words that relate to what’s on my mind, so I figure I’ll just let them all flow into sentences and share what’s on my mind.
It’s amazing how much you can empathize with others. I mean really feel emotion and hurt alongside the people you care about. [Flashback]: Growing up, I still remember learning about sympathy and empathy. Being the geek that I am, I thought it was cool how they were so similar, but meant completely different things. I’d get confused from time to time and mix up their meanings, but I really get it at this point. Whereas sympathy relates to feeling pity or sorrow for someone, empathy is when you can relate to another person’s emotion or experience.
Well, I’m overwhelmed right now. So many thoughts, questions, and feelings are rushing through my mind.
Is love a [fantasy]? What makes people loyal? What makes us unfaithful? What’s so hard about love? When is it really pure? When is it real? Is it even worth it?
The crazy thing is, all of this mental activity comes from someone else’s situation. I’ve learned that, personally, I only completely empathize with my family or best friends, so I suppose this is a clear, indisputable sign of how I view our friendship. I’m sitting here typing this post because of what a close friend of mine is going through; something that has [nothing] to do with me. Why? Maybe the reality (or lack thereof) of what we call love just has me unsettled right now.
Could my friend’s current situation, which up to two days ago I tweeted was the [perfect] relationship, have been the final straw it took to make me a disbeliever in this idea of two people my age being happy with one another completely and purely?
As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I find myself worried about him, pissed at his girlfriend, disappointed, shocked, and somehow even betrayed. I guess this perfect relationship was my one piece of perfect evidence, my only hope, that real relationships still exist in my generation (at least, as far as I know of personally). Dang… What is wrong with us? Seriously. Guys cheat on girls, girls cheat on guys, and even et cetera…. I wonder where the future of [the relationship] will lead. Will it go anywhere at all?
One thing I will say is that I think that God completely answers prayers. We talked the other day about him getting ready for life after school and really trying to get a clear view of what’s next for him. I guess this is God’s very abrupt answer. If I hadn’t remembered our conversation and connected the God-ordained dots in this situation, I probably wouldn’t know what to think. I feel strongly that, in addition to the major feelings that are ahead for him, there’s going to be vast opportunity and discovery in store. I sure hope so.
I have church in the morning, so I should wrap this up. [good] night.