A coping method that might not be as unhealthy as people think: REPRESSION!

repression |riˈpre sh ən|

-noun
1. The act of repressing or the state of being repressed.
2. (Psychology) The unconscious exclusion of painful impulses, desires, or fears from the conscious mind.
3. (Psychoanalysis) the subconscious rejection of thoughts and impulses that conflict with conventional standards of conduct

In my Theories of Personality class, I learned about Freud’s defense mechanisms, which are basically subconscious reactions to situations and truths that our brains either can’t process or accept. For the most part, these are rooted by unconscious factors that we can’t completely control, but what if we used them on purpose? I mean, the brain uses them in [an attempt] to help us deal with life. Why not take control and use some of them when we consciously feel we need them?

I was talking to a friend today about some stuff that’s been filling up my headspace and, at this point, I really can’t think about it anymore. Have you ever spent so much time pondering over something, looking at it from every angle and perspective, really examining every inch of a situation, until you got to that point where you were overwhelmed and couldn’t really process it any more, even if you wanted to? I think that’s where I’ve arrived. I really just want to lock up any and all thoughts regarding the subject, which got me thinking about one of Freud’s more popular defense mechanisms: repression. I asked myself a question:

How unhealthy would it be if we could purposely “activate” these unconscious defense mechanisms?

People say you shouldn’t run away from your problems. Well, what if it’s just for a quick jog…? Is it okay to push thoughts aside indefinitely until you feel like you’re both willing and ready to face them again? or should you keep trying to decipher through all the confusing, scary, or disappointing truths of life until you can see the answer you’re searching for clearly?

My favorite law in Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power is Law 36, which pretty much says to ignore the things you can’t have. If you can’t find peace with a situation, why not just give yourself a break and ignore it, even if it’s just momentarily to catch your breath? I don’t know about you, but I’m calling a timeout. I’ll hop back into that game a little later.

I wanted to make this another vocabulary lesson, but I couldn’t settle on a word. There are so many key words that relate to what’s on my mind, so I figure I’ll just let them all flow into sentences and share what’s on my mind.

It’s amazing how much you can empathize with others. I mean really feel emotion and hurt alongside the people you care about. [Flashback]: Growing up, I still remember learning about sympathy and empathy. Being the geek that I am, I thought it was cool how they were so similar, but meant completely different things. I’d get confused from time to time and mix up their meanings, but I really get it at this point. Whereas sympathy relates to feeling pity or sorrow for someone, empathy is when you can relate to another person’s emotion or experience.

Well, I’m overwhelmed right now. So many thoughts, questions, and feelings are rushing through my mind.

Is love a [fantasy]? What makes people loyal? What makes us unfaithful? What’s so hard about love? When is it really pure? When is it real? Is it even worth it?

The crazy thing is, all of this mental activity comes from someone else’s situation. I’ve learned that, personally, I only completely empathize with my family or best friends, so I suppose this is a clear, indisputable sign of how I view our friendship. I’m sitting here typing this post because of what a close friend of mine is going through; something that has [nothing] to do with me. Why? Maybe the reality (or lack thereof) of what we call love just has me unsettled right now.

Could my friend’s current situation, which up to two days ago I tweeted was the [perfect] relationship, have been the final straw it took to make me a disbeliever in this idea of two people my age being happy with one another completely and purely?

As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I find myself worried about him, pissed at his girlfriend, disappointed, shocked, and somehow even betrayed. I guess this perfect relationship was my one piece of perfect evidence, my only hope, that real relationships still exist in my generation (at least, as far as I know of personally). Dang… What is wrong with us? Seriously. Guys cheat on girls, girls cheat on guys, and even et cetera…. I wonder where the future of [the relationship] will lead. Will it go anywhere at all?

One thing I will say is that I think that God completely answers prayers. We talked the other day about him getting ready for life after school and really trying to get a clear view of what’s next for him. I guess this is God’s very abrupt answer. If I hadn’t remembered our conversation and connected the God-ordained dots in this situation, I probably wouldn’t know what to think. I feel strongly that, in addition to the major feelings that are ahead for him, there’s going to be vast opportunity and discovery in store. I sure hope so.

I have church in the morning, so I should wrap this up. [good] night.

nostalgia |näˈstaljə; nə-|
noun
a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations : I was overcome with acute nostalgia for my days in college back home in Camden Park.

For some strange reason, the past few days have been rather [nostalgic] for me. It seems like another memory pops into my head with each passing hour. Maybe it’s some type of subconscious reaction to the fact that my college career is almost over and I’ll actually be an [adult] (as in a degree-having, not in school, and not in my parents’ house adult) in 9 weeks. Whatever the reason, it’s been pretty nice.

I just finished talking to my best friend about tons of random memories from our childhood and it was an awesome trip down memory lane. I said [our] because we’ve been best friends, brothers even, since we were five. We grew up on opposite sides of the same, little neighborhood in the suburbs of Houston, TX, and since then, we’ve only gotten closer. 

It was really nice laughing over so many of our past experiences. It sounded more like we were talking about our favorite TV show. I was literally in the cafeteria screaming with laughter. I thought one of the staff members was going to ask me to leave. It’s a great feeling to look back at some of the key moments in our lives that have helped us grow into the men that we are today. When was the last time you stopped to reflect over the journey you’ve taken thus far? Regardless of how old you are, I challenge you to take a second, call up some old friends, and just talk about those good, old times that you all shared. It’ll help you realize how far you’ve come, and hopefully bring a nice smile to your face as well.