I wanted to make this another vocabulary lesson, but I couldn’t settle on a word. There are so many key words that relate to what’s on my mind, so I figure I’ll just let them all flow into sentences and share what’s on my mind.

It’s amazing how much you can empathize with others. I mean really feel emotion and hurt alongside the people you care about. [Flashback]: Growing up, I still remember learning about sympathy and empathy. Being the geek that I am, I thought it was cool how they were so similar, but meant completely different things. I’d get confused from time to time and mix up their meanings, but I really get it at this point. Whereas sympathy relates to feeling pity or sorrow for someone, empathy is when you can relate to another person’s emotion or experience.

Well, I’m overwhelmed right now. So many thoughts, questions, and feelings are rushing through my mind.

Is love a [fantasy]? What makes people loyal? What makes us unfaithful? What’s so hard about love? When is it really pure? When is it real? Is it even worth it?

The crazy thing is, all of this mental activity comes from someone else’s situation. I’ve learned that, personally, I only completely empathize with my family or best friends, so I suppose this is a clear, indisputable sign of how I view our friendship. I’m sitting here typing this post because of what a close friend of mine is going through; something that has [nothing] to do with me. Why? Maybe the reality (or lack thereof) of what we call love just has me unsettled right now.

Could my friend’s current situation, which up to two days ago I tweeted was the [perfect] relationship, have been the final straw it took to make me a disbeliever in this idea of two people my age being happy with one another completely and purely?

As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I find myself worried about him, pissed at his girlfriend, disappointed, shocked, and somehow even betrayed. I guess this perfect relationship was my one piece of perfect evidence, my only hope, that real relationships still exist in my generation (at least, as far as I know of personally). Dang… What is wrong with us? Seriously. Guys cheat on girls, girls cheat on guys, and even et cetera…. I wonder where the future of [the relationship] will lead. Will it go anywhere at all?

One thing I will say is that I think that God completely answers prayers. We talked the other day about him getting ready for life after school and really trying to get a clear view of what’s next for him. I guess this is God’s very abrupt answer. If I hadn’t remembered our conversation and connected the God-ordained dots in this situation, I probably wouldn’t know what to think. I feel strongly that, in addition to the major feelings that are ahead for him, there’s going to be vast opportunity and discovery in store. I sure hope so.

I have church in the morning, so I should wrap this up. [good] night.

Something you should take a strong look at every once in a while: MIRROR!

mirror |ˈmirər|

-noun
1 a reflective surface, now typically of glass coated with a metal amalgam, that reflects a clear image.
• figurative something regarded as accurately representing something else : the stage is supposed to be the mirror of life.

So… about thirty minutes ago, I got into it with a friend of mine. I found myself venting about some of his behaviors that I don’t particularly care for. However, in the midst of “checking him,” I got a nice look at myself. He [calmly] pointed out a few similarities that we have in common that weren’t exactly in plain view to me until now. It’s funny how we can have such strong [negative] feelings about people from time to time, but somehow fail to see our our own reflections glaring back at us.

The funny thing is, in the midst of finally telling him what had been on my mind for the past three days, I didn’t even make any valid points. For once, I was really at a loss for words (even though enough noise came out anyway). I guess I finally had a catharsis of sorts. In psychology, I think this would be a good example of projection, which is the act of placing certain traits or impulses onto other people instead of ourselves. Some of the [asshole] characteristics I saw in him were really a lot of the same bad habits I have myself.

All in all, today’s been a “less than positive” day for me (not that that’s an excuse). I started off the day in a great mood and slowly but surely went further and further downhill. On the opposite side, this unexpected revelation is actually a plus for me. It showed me a few ways that I can be a better person in the future. In my Business Policy class, my professor taught us that a problem properly stated is already half-solved. I think I get the problem now. Looks like I’m halfway there.

In dealing with others (and life in general), it’s important not to have a one-sided perspective. I talk to others about the importance of looking at things from multiple perspectives all the time, but it’s funny how I’m the one that needs to hear that advice now. You have to be weary of a critical spirit. It’s easy to be judgmental; not so easy to be understanding.